


Taking a Chance

by cordeliadelayne



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Arthur is a good friend, Bottom Merlin, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Top Lancelot, lancelot can be really stubborn, merlin deserves to be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-11 19:23:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7066885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliadelayne/pseuds/cordeliadelayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin doesn't think that having something of his very own is too much to ask, not this once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taking a Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Livejournal in 2011.

“Have you thought about it? What you’ll do when Arthur knows about your magic?”

Merlin turned to Lancelot with a frown. He couldn’t really see why their conversation had taken a turn down that road. They were sitting on the grass by the training ground watching as Arthur trained with Elyan. Merlin's chores were all done and though Arthur had pulled a face when Merlin had sank to the grass, Lancelot joining Merlin had stopped Arthur protesting out loud. Arthur tended not to criticise Merlin in public as much these days, not when Lancelot was one of the witnesses, at least.

“Merlin?” Lancelot prompted.

“Sorry. I...I don't know. Whatever I hope will happen, won't. I just have to wait and see.” Merlin regarded Lancelot closely. “What made you ask?”

Lancelot moved his arms to encompass the training ground and then Camelot as a whole.

“The world's changing. Arthur's changing.” He turned and looked seriously at Merlin. “And you've never looked more tense.”

Merlin tried to smile and shrug away Lancelot's concern, but he couldn't quite manage it.

“Morgana's a real threat. People have seen what magic can do. The pain it can cause.” Merlin looked glumly at his shoes. “Arthur would never...not right now.”

Lancelot put a hand on Merlin's knee and Merlin tried very hard not to squirm. Lancelot's touch had always sent a warm feeling through him, but now he understood _why_ he felt that way, it was all the more embarrassing.

“I would never let anything happen to you, you know that.”

“I can look after myself,” Merlin replied stubbornly, but Lancelot just gave that half smile that Merlin was beginning to find infuriating. For all his words of friendship Lancelot didn't view Merlin as his equal, he didn't believe that his magic was any more powerful than the ability to conjure up the occasional fire. Even if Lancelot had felt the same deepening of affection as Merlin realised he was feeling, he would never act on it; he'd think that he was taking advantage of Merlin, of their differing statuses. And every day the gulf between them edged a little further apart.

If Lancelot picked up on any of Merlin's conflicted emotions he didn’t say so, just removed his hand from Merlin's leg and continued to watch the training.

Arthur glanced over at them enough times that Merlin began to feel nervous, but the prince didn't say anything, and before they knew it, it was time for lunch.

* * * * *

Merlin was in Arthur's room helping him dress for a banquet when Arthur got that look on his face that Merlin knew spelled trouble.

“You and Lancelot are close,” Arthur said.

“Hmm,” Merlin agreed, checking the effect of the new jacket Arthur was to wear that evening.

“Has he - " Arthur looked uncomfortable and Merlin sighed.

“He hasn't said anything about Gwen, no.”

Arthur looked surprised for a moment, before his expression cleared.

“Right, Gwen. That wasn't really what I was asking.”

“Then what _were_ you going to say?”

But Sir Leon knocked on the door requesting the Prince's presence, and by the time Merlin had remembered Arthur had been trying to tell him something, they were already half way though the meal.

As usual Merlin could only watch as the nobles and knights ate the fine food – though Gwaine did wink at him and pocket a few rolls so Merlin knew he'd at least get something from the banquet.

Lancelot was smiling a lot in that offhand way which meant he really had something else on his mind. Merlin tried not to look over at the knights too often, especially when he saw the way Arthur was watching him. He didn’t know what Arthur's problem was, but Merlin was sure he wasn't going to like it.

Merlin was pouring Arthur a drink when Lancelot rose and nodded his goodbye to Arthur. He glanced at Merlin and then away again, an expression on his face that Merlin didn't quite recognise. Arthur touched Merlin's wrist and the shock of it would have sent the jug of wine flying if Arthur hadn't grabbed that too.

“Go after him,” Arthur said.

“Why – I don't...”

Arthur, looking even less charmed by Merlin's floundering than usual, took the jug out of Merlin's hands all together.

“For once in your life, do as you're told.”

Arthur spoke low, so that no one nearby could hear, but the expressions on both their faces were obviously tense enough to start attracting notice.

“Right,” Merlin said, and nodded, though he didn’t move. “Really?”

Arthur sighed. “I'm not completely blind. Go.”

He nudged Merlin with his foot and, a little dazed, Merlin left the Great Hall. He often took it for granted that Arthur couldn’t see what was right in front of him, so it always came as a surprise when Arthur _could_ see what was hidden. Especially where Merlin was concerned.

Merlin thought back to his conversation about magic with Lancelot – what _would_ he do if Arthur found out?

Before he had the chance to worry too much about it, he stumbled upon Lancelot, who had only got so far as the corridor up the stairs from the Hall.

“Merlin,” he said, obviously startled, but just as obviously trying to hide that fact from Merlin. Merlin didn't hide his smile.

“Lancelot. Arthur – Arthur said I should come after you.”

Merlin bit his lower lip nervously. He really hadn't thought any of this through.

“Did he?” Lancelot turned back to look in the direction of the banquet. “Why would he do that?”

Lancelot kept his back to Merlin and Merlin desperately wished he could see his face.

“Maybe he was being kind,” Merlin suggested.

“Kind?” Lancelot repeated, a hitch in his voice that made Merlin frown. “I don’t think there's anything kind about this.”

“About what?” Merlin asked, really confused now.

“Go to bed, Merlin. It’s getting late.”

Lancelot started to walk away from Merlin, avoiding looking at him.

“No!” Merlin said, his magic making the torch nearest Lancelot flare up. Lancelot abruptly stopped, though he still didn't turn to face Merlin. “I'm not a _child_ , Lancelot. You have to stop treating me like one.”

“I'm not. That was never my intention.”

“Then look at me.”

Time seemed to stretch into hours as Merlin waited, his body tense and still, to see if Lancelot would look at him, or if he'd just walk away. Lancelot was far too noble for his own good.

Eventually Lancelot did turn to look at Merlin. “I love Gwen,” he said.

“Gwen loves Arthur,” Merlin said immediately. “And I don't believe that you feel nothing for me. That you don't feel, what I feel.”

Lancelot's face clearly showed the struggle he was going through. Lancelot, who always kept his feelings in check, was letting Merlin see everything.

“You are – good, Merlin. So good and pure - “

“I'm not _that_ pure,” Merlin said, because he might act the blushing virgin around the knights, but that was only because he wanted to avoid a potentially awkward conversation with Arthur. Though, after tonight...

Lancelot smiled a little then, one of his rare, genuine smiles that actually made his eyes crinkle in pleasure. “ _Merlin_...”

“Why don't we have this conversation somewhere else?” Merlin suggested. He started to walk past Lancelot and then looked back over his shoulder. “I know somewhere no one will disturb us.”

Lancelot looked up at the ceiling, as if silently asking for guidance. “You don't give up, do you?”

“Nope,” Merlin replied and started to walk away. He kept up a slow pace until he was sure that Lancelot was following, and then he started to move a little more eagerly.

* * * * * 

“Well,” Lancelot said, “you're certainly right that no one will disturb us here.”

Merlin shrugged. It hurt, sometimes, to come here, to Morgana's old room, and see it perfectly preserved. It was like a memorial to the Morgana who had once been a loving ward, a loyal friend, a kind mistress, a troubled witch with no one to turn to. But Merlin did it anyway. Because there was no surer way for him to remember what magic could do, if he let it.

“I suggested cleaning it out to Arthur once, getting rid of it all.” Merlin shook his head. “But he wouldn't. He didn’t say why. I come here, sometimes, just to think. It's very quiet in this part of the castle now. A lot of people asked to be moved to the other towers, and Arthur never objected.”

“It wasn't your fault,” Lancelot said.

“Yes it was,” Merlin replied. He was looking out of Morgana's window now, out at the silent courtyard, his back to Lancelot. “I think I'd have done the same, even knowing what I know now. But that doesn't make it any less my fault.”

There was a soft rippling sound behind him, which Merlin realised later was Lancelot removing his ceremonial cloak. It drifted to the floor and then Lancelot was behind him, his arm’s wrapping around Merlin, who shivered as if cold.

“Merlin, my – my feelings for Gwen...”

Merlin sighed. “She seems to find it easy to love the both of you.” He gave a little shrug and willed the tears to stay away.

“My feelings for Gwen,” Lancelot began again, “they're different to my feelings for you.” Merlin held his breath. “I've always – I've always wanted to protect you, and keep you safe - “

Merlin turned around, angrily pushing Lancelot away. “I don't need your protection, Lancelot. Do you know how many magical creatures I've defeated? Single-handed? How many people, things, have died at my command?”

Lancelot looked first surprised, and then annoyed. “And one day your use of magic will get you killed.”

“And what would you have me do? Hide forever? Never use my magic? Put it in a box marked “things Merlin never gets to have?” Because I tell you, Lancelot, that box is already overflowing.”

“I never knew you felt this way,” Lancelot said, and if he hadn't looked so adorably confused Merlin might have hit him for good measure.

“That's because you never see me,” Merlin said. “Nobody does.” Tears started to spill from his eyes and he blinked them rapidly away. “And you know more about me than anyone, so what hope is there?”

“Oh, Merlin,” Lancelot said. And before Merlin could complain at the sympathy he saw on Lancelot’s face, Lancelot was kissing him. It was gentle at first, nothing more than a soft press of lips, but then Merlin moved his hand to draw Lancelot closer and Lancelot groaned as he did so, pushing Merlin up against the wall.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” Lancelot was saying, as he pulled at Merlin's top. “I thought you would be safer, better, if I never acted on my feelings. I – I don't know that this is very wise...”

“I am fed up of being wise,” Merlin said emphatically. Lancelot nodded. Perhaps for one night they could both forget themselves.

“Very well,” Lancelot said. Then he pushed Merlin towards Morgana's bed.

Merlin wondered, briefly, how Morgana would feel now if she knew what was happening on her bed, and he smiled to himself. She'd probably burn them both alive.

“What's so funny?” Lancelot asked, half-way through throwing his own top to the floor.

“Just – nothing. Morgana's bed,” Merlin said, hoping Lancelot would understand. Lancelot’s small huff of amusement showed that he did.

“If you can think of other people right now, clearly I'm not trying hard enough,” Lancelot said. Merlin shivered at the way Lancelot was looking at him. He'd dreamed about this moment for some months now, and he couldn't believe that finally, finally, Lancelot was touching him.

And touch he did. Everywhere at once, it seemed like and Merlin could hear himself practically purr as Lancelot scrapped his teeth along Merlin's neck and then bit and sucked enough that he knew he was being claimed. He certainly didn't object. Not even at the thought of all the things Arthur was bound to say in the morning.

Once Merlin had regained some of his composure be began to move himself, touching Lancelot in all the places he didn't think he'd ever be allowed, and drowning in the kisses Lancelot bestowed on him. Lancelot clearly kissed like he did everything else once his mind was made up, with a single-minded intensity that made Merlin’s toes curl.

“I didn't come prepared,” Lancelot said, his fingers brushing very near Merlin's aching cock.

“I did,” Merlin said with a smile, and with a few whispered words a pot of lotion was sitting on Merlin's palm.

Lancelot shook his head. “You are impossible.”

Merlin grinned but didn’t disagree.

Lancelot kissed him again, his aim clearly to distract as he also took the lotion and once he was prepared began to scissor his fingers inside Merlin, swallowing his cries of surprise. Merlin's hands went around Lancelot's neck and urged him closer.

“Patience,” Lancelot chided, pulling his mouth away from Merlin's.

“You won't break me,” Merlin said, looking Lancelot square in the eye. Lancelot held himself still for what seemed to Merlin for an eternity, before nodding, and pushing his way inside Merlin.

Merlin's mouth opened in a perfect “O” but before Lancelot could ask if he was all right, Merlin was shifting on the bed, trying to get Lancelot in deeper.

“Impossible,” Lancelot murmured, but he took the hint, and started to move slow and deep and then faster, as Merlin's short nails started to scratch at his back.

“Lancelot, please,” Merlin begged and that, plus Merlin’s wanton look, with flushed face, swollen lips and messier than usual hair, undid all Lancelot’s good intentions. He picked up the pace, and Merlin showed his appreciation by nibbling at Lancelot’s ear, something he'd earlier discovered Lancelot couldn't get enough of.

Finally, when Merlin thought that he simply couldn't take any more, his orgasm hit him and the room seemed to light up as his body spasmed around Lancelot, taking the knight over the edge with him.

They lay, panting, for some time before the sounds of footsteps could be heard in the distance.

“Oh,” Merlin said, “did I -?”

“Light up Morgana's old room so brightly the whole castle probably saw?” Lancelot asked. Despite their obvious danger, Merlin didn’t think Lancelot had ever looked so relaxed. “Yes, you did. Come on, get dressed. I'll tell them I saw the light and came to investigate. They won't suspect me of anything.”

“Arthur might. He sent me after you, after all.”

“Then acting suspicious will only help,” Lancelot pointed out. He pulled Merlin into another quick kiss before finishing dressing himself. “If only you could make yourself invisible,” Lancelot mused, eyeing Merlin up and down in a way that sent fresh shivers through him.

“I'm working on it,” Merlin said with a shrug and a wide smile.

Lancelot laughed. “Of course you are.”

The sound of footsteps were even closer now and Merlin sobered immediately.

“Hide behind the curtains,” Lancelot said. “I'll make sure no harm comes to you.”

“I know,” Merlin said, serious, willing Lancelot to see just how much he meant it. “I know.” He wasn't sure what made him so determined that Lancelot should hear the words, but Lancelot's answering look was reward enough.

So he hid behind the curtain, and tried not to laugh as Arthur appeared at the door, and had a conversation laden with innuendo with Lancelot. It must have been baffling to the guards who had accompanied the prince to Morgana's room, and Merlin was sure he would get a repeat of it in the morning, but he couldn't bring himself to care all that much. For the first time in months he really started to believe that everything was going to be all right and he wasn’t about to let even Arthur's good natured teasing ruin his time with Lancelot.

And judging by the toe-curling kiss he received when Arthur had gone, Lancelot was determined not to let anything spoil their time together, either.  



End file.
